_Will I ever be able to love_ - By Caspian Tha Poet

*Poem by:Caspian Tha Poet*

Title: _Will I ever be able to love_


*They're the crazy things I encounter that make me hate this life
The little love I got left is all overshadowed by the hate that's grew within
I have parents who act like siblings, get jealous like little kids for little things
If that's the only way to show love, sometimes I wish I never get to love
Sometimes it got me wishing I can just go get a home of my own and live
They claim to love us but everytime they subject us to abject torture
It's always about money that they seem to fight, we ain't never got a fortune
Situation can be changed overnight, I could have slept working on making the perfect life sketch myself
Someone once said life is a joke, seems mine is the best ever coz everyone seems to be laughing the most
If this is a movie, the directors are drunk and there ain't no cut scenes
Y'all taught me not to swear but you also taught me to be defiant
I swear sometimes I feel like just wandering about to some place I don't know exists, a place I can only see in dreams
I loved back then but coz of you my love is gone, I'm now insecure and has taught myself there ain't nobody worth my trust
I even loved and trusted you both but you all with your actions betrayed me, you're lucky I  still got a little bit of respect for you left
Respect because one of you played a part in bringing me to this world, one of you for months that I now doubt carried me
You wonder why I now doubt, everytime I talk to you seems like everything y'all say is one lie after the other
As a little kid when you said you loved me, I used to say I loved you too. Now I've grown into the beast you created over the years and in love I believe no more
Some say I'm the spitting image of my father, I hope the character and attitude are never the same if they are and I was given a chance I'd choose another
I hear some kids yelling,"My daddy's my hero!" I just spit on the ground and say,"If all man are the same except for me, watch him get down to zero as he grows"
What's that chemical substance they put in liquor that swings the mind?
It's done permanent damage to people I thought were sensible and kind
One question I always and will always ask myself,"Will I ever be able to love?"*