ChickenAndChristmas series - Victor Daniel
WriteUp Composed by Bola Rotimi Daniel
Bola Rotimi is a Student of Bowen university from the Medical School.Bola Rotimi has been a good Medical Student and a good writer
Here, guys, is our Grand Finale, 12th story in the #ChickenAndChristmas series.
And it the beautiful Victor Daniel.
Here:
"Now, let's tell the history of Chickens and Christmases properly.
______________________
Bethlehem. Winter.
Night.
Joseph, exhausted from the long trip from Judea - The horrible traffic, the menace of the very corrupt Road Safety officials, the police - steps out of the manger to grab a beer or two. Mary is close to labour, but she tells him he can take a couple of hours to unwind. Such was the niceness of her heart, the same one that God saw that made him choose her. Just before Joseph leaves, he takes a selfie with Mary, making sure to show the baby bump.
At the bar, he orders Lamb and Beer. The beer is served immediately but it takes a while to get the lamb ready. It's winter, stuff gets cool easily. It needs to be microwaved. Sipping on his cup of beer while his Lamb gets warmed, he uploads his selfie with Mary on Instagram and captions it "Delivery Due In A Few. Mary looks Dashing As Usual! #BeauWithABump."
He's joined by two lousy fellows- Gamaliel and Callistus. The latter a sub-saharan. Igbo probably. Don't look at me that way, Igbos are everywhere. They also order for some lamb and some beer. Their beers are brought before them while their lamb orders were tucked in the microwave along with Joseph's. While sipping their drinks, they engage themselves in a fierce debate about the Roman occupation of Israel. Callistus is characteristically loud, slamming the base of his drink on the table every time he makes a point. Gamaliel — who is Jew— insists that a messiah is on his way. Callistus disagrees. They go back and forth at the debate — much to the disgust of Joseph, who hates politically motivated arguments — until the waitress arrives with their lambs. She serves them not according to their orders but according to the flamboyance of their appearance. Callistus first, Joseph last.
Joseph, who is already in a bad mood as a result of the meagre number of likes his IG post has earned so far - Three actually. One from himself, one from Mary and the other from a close relative - becomes increasingly grumpy. Soon enough, after less than two bites into his steaming hot lamb, he loses taste in it.
"Do you serve any other type of meat here?" He asks the waiter.
"No!"
Completely uninterested now, he abandons the meal and downs the remaining content of the bottle the takes his leave. He walks across the street in search for an alternative eatery and after a while, he finds one. The sign of the place has an image funny looking old man. Joseph is amused. He has never seen anything like that in Judea. He reads the name of the place to himself-
"K-F-C"
He scoffs, shrugs and walks in. He asks what they serve. They tell him chicken.
"Chicken ke?" He sniggers. The waiter doesn't smile. She wears the same straight face she wore when he walked in. Unimpressed. He rearranges his countenance, seeing she was not in the mood for a joke. He is at first unsure whether or not to make an order. "Who eats birds at winter?" He wonders. However, he decides to check it out. He makes an order. He doesn't order another beer. A man whose wife was pregnant with the messiah shouldn't be tipsy on the eve of his birth.
His order is brought to him- steaming hot. The sweet aroma from the steam caresses his nostrils. He had never known anything that arousing before. In less than a moment after the chicken is served on the table, he grabs it and sinks his teeth mindlessly into it and drools away.
***
Midnight.
Mary is in labour. She tries to no avail to get through to Joseph. His phone rings endlessly unanswered. She's pissed off, depressed, pissed off, confused, pissed off, afraid, pissed off. In that order. What sort of Man would walk off hours ago and refuse to pick his call when he knows his wife was due for labour? She wondered. Mary was already contemplating how many months she would give him the silent treatment when the sharp pains of contracting cutting through her womb diverted her attention to the more important need. Not long enough, Joseph leaps by, chewing excitedly.
Excitedly.
Mary is so pissed off she starts to laugh while beads of tears rolls down her face at the same time. Her mouth opens, closes, opens, closes and opens again- clearly at loss on what to say to him. Joseph is clutching a paper bag with him. He stretches a hand to hold Mary down while the midwife help with the delivery. A hand. His other hand is still clutching the bag and he's still chewing on whatever he has been chewing on. He has not said a word since he came. Mary shoots him a stare that contains a ballistic missile strong enough to wipe out the whole of Kenya. At her death stare, he finally comes back to his consciousness.
He finally manages to drop the bag to use his both hands.
***
Morning.
Joseph wakes up the happiest man alive, even though he has no idea when he slept off. The happiest man alive for two reasons: The magic in the chicken he tasted for the first time, and the feeling of being a father - earthly - to the messiah of the world. The only person happier than him was Callistus, whose container was finally on course to the Apapa wharf. Joseph rolls over, rubs his eyes and gets up. He takes another look at his new child, who is sleeping in heavenly peace. Such beauty! But suddenly he notices something odd about the room. Mary isn't there. He turns to the other side of the room where he had dropped his bag of chicken at midnight. The horror! It isn't there too!
He dashes outside the manger, and to his astonishment, he sees Mary munching on what is left of the chicken he brought home at midnight. He's emotions fluctuate, as If trying to decide if to be happy or sad. After a moment of hovering around, his emotions settles on the bright side. For what is more joy than you and your wife finding the same addiction on the day you had your first child?
Many years would pass after that morning and Joseph would make it a ritual to celebrate that day of the year - which coincided with the birth of Jesus - with chicken. In memory of that night at KFC. Many more years would pass and Jesus would die, but his birthday would be marked by his followers with something that was symbolic with his birth— chicken.
And it the beautiful Victor Daniel.
Here:
"Now, let's tell the history of Chickens and Christmases properly.
______________________
Bethlehem. Winter.
Night.
Joseph, exhausted from the long trip from Judea - The horrible traffic, the menace of the very corrupt Road Safety officials, the police - steps out of the manger to grab a beer or two. Mary is close to labour, but she tells him he can take a couple of hours to unwind. Such was the niceness of her heart, the same one that God saw that made him choose her. Just before Joseph leaves, he takes a selfie with Mary, making sure to show the baby bump.
At the bar, he orders Lamb and Beer. The beer is served immediately but it takes a while to get the lamb ready. It's winter, stuff gets cool easily. It needs to be microwaved. Sipping on his cup of beer while his Lamb gets warmed, he uploads his selfie with Mary on Instagram and captions it "Delivery Due In A Few. Mary looks Dashing As Usual! #BeauWithABump."
He's joined by two lousy fellows- Gamaliel and Callistus. The latter a sub-saharan. Igbo probably. Don't look at me that way, Igbos are everywhere. They also order for some lamb and some beer. Their beers are brought before them while their lamb orders were tucked in the microwave along with Joseph's. While sipping their drinks, they engage themselves in a fierce debate about the Roman occupation of Israel. Callistus is characteristically loud, slamming the base of his drink on the table every time he makes a point. Gamaliel — who is Jew— insists that a messiah is on his way. Callistus disagrees. They go back and forth at the debate — much to the disgust of Joseph, who hates politically motivated arguments — until the waitress arrives with their lambs. She serves them not according to their orders but according to the flamboyance of their appearance. Callistus first, Joseph last.
Joseph, who is already in a bad mood as a result of the meagre number of likes his IG post has earned so far - Three actually. One from himself, one from Mary and the other from a close relative - becomes increasingly grumpy. Soon enough, after less than two bites into his steaming hot lamb, he loses taste in it.
"Do you serve any other type of meat here?" He asks the waiter.
"No!"
Completely uninterested now, he abandons the meal and downs the remaining content of the bottle the takes his leave. He walks across the street in search for an alternative eatery and after a while, he finds one. The sign of the place has an image funny looking old man. Joseph is amused. He has never seen anything like that in Judea. He reads the name of the place to himself-
"K-F-C"
He scoffs, shrugs and walks in. He asks what they serve. They tell him chicken.
"Chicken ke?" He sniggers. The waiter doesn't smile. She wears the same straight face she wore when he walked in. Unimpressed. He rearranges his countenance, seeing she was not in the mood for a joke. He is at first unsure whether or not to make an order. "Who eats birds at winter?" He wonders. However, he decides to check it out. He makes an order. He doesn't order another beer. A man whose wife was pregnant with the messiah shouldn't be tipsy on the eve of his birth.
His order is brought to him- steaming hot. The sweet aroma from the steam caresses his nostrils. He had never known anything that arousing before. In less than a moment after the chicken is served on the table, he grabs it and sinks his teeth mindlessly into it and drools away.
***
Midnight.
Mary is in labour. She tries to no avail to get through to Joseph. His phone rings endlessly unanswered. She's pissed off, depressed, pissed off, confused, pissed off, afraid, pissed off. In that order. What sort of Man would walk off hours ago and refuse to pick his call when he knows his wife was due for labour? She wondered. Mary was already contemplating how many months she would give him the silent treatment when the sharp pains of contracting cutting through her womb diverted her attention to the more important need. Not long enough, Joseph leaps by, chewing excitedly.
Excitedly.
Mary is so pissed off she starts to laugh while beads of tears rolls down her face at the same time. Her mouth opens, closes, opens, closes and opens again- clearly at loss on what to say to him. Joseph is clutching a paper bag with him. He stretches a hand to hold Mary down while the midwife help with the delivery. A hand. His other hand is still clutching the bag and he's still chewing on whatever he has been chewing on. He has not said a word since he came. Mary shoots him a stare that contains a ballistic missile strong enough to wipe out the whole of Kenya. At her death stare, he finally comes back to his consciousness.
He finally manages to drop the bag to use his both hands.
***
Morning.
Joseph wakes up the happiest man alive, even though he has no idea when he slept off. The happiest man alive for two reasons: The magic in the chicken he tasted for the first time, and the feeling of being a father - earthly - to the messiah of the world. The only person happier than him was Callistus, whose container was finally on course to the Apapa wharf. Joseph rolls over, rubs his eyes and gets up. He takes another look at his new child, who is sleeping in heavenly peace. Such beauty! But suddenly he notices something odd about the room. Mary isn't there. He turns to the other side of the room where he had dropped his bag of chicken at midnight. The horror! It isn't there too!
He dashes outside the manger, and to his astonishment, he sees Mary munching on what is left of the chicken he brought home at midnight. He's emotions fluctuate, as If trying to decide if to be happy or sad. After a moment of hovering around, his emotions settles on the bright side. For what is more joy than you and your wife finding the same addiction on the day you had your first child?
Many years would pass after that morning and Joseph would make it a ritual to celebrate that day of the year - which coincided with the birth of Jesus - with chicken. In memory of that night at KFC. Many more years would pass and Jesus would die, but his birthday would be marked by his followers with something that was symbolic with his birth— chicken.
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